Site Update

Posted on by
Reply

I just added some more content and functionality:

Papers

Five grad school papers I’ve written about my bipolar healing process. Some fodder for a book someday, perhaps… but for now, hopefully useful to someone in their healing process.

Contact form

So folks can get in touch with me in private.

Forum

I’m really hoping to start some dicussions with people about their experience, and get shared knowledge going about how to work with the bipolar dynamic. To that end, I’ve added a forum to the site, which anyone can see, but you have to register in order to post. Check it out, and drop me a line there!

My Healing Story

Posted on by
Reply

In my early twenties, I went through a crisis that required all my resources to overcome. After dropping out of college due to mood swings, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I moved home, finished school, studied many different healing methods, and had a spiritual awakening. All told, it took me three years to heal.

Mood Swings, Trouble Sleeping, and Dropping Out of College

When I was 20, I dropped out of college because I couldn’t show up to class consistently. I would stay up for two days straight and sleep for a day and a half. I was battling depression and chronic feelings of uselessness and self-hatred, alternating with ambitious academic and artistic plans and fantastic visions of grandeur. Unable to keep up with classes due to these swings, I withdrew from school, and looked for full-time work. Around this time, I began to smoke marijuana as a way of exploring my mind, and to regulate my mood (with little success).

Medication and Diagnosis

My difficult feelings intensified, so I sought out counselling, and got some antidepressant medication from a friend. Although I had pridefully refused medication up till then, I felt helpless to manage my moods on my own, and agreed to give it a try. The meds seemed to help, so I went to see a psychiatric nurse at a counseling center, who prescribed me an antidepressant and diagnosed me with Bipolar (II).

The diagnosis had a paradoxical effect on me. On one hand, I felt that I finally had a direction to head in in order to get better, because I had a name and a set of ideas for understanding my experience. On the other hand, I felt like I was really crazy, and all my feelings of competence and intelligence were dashed— and the shame, fear, and self-loathing I had hidden from myself for years became more and more apparent.

Extreme States and Moving Home

Around this time, I took a trip to Europe with a generous friend, and experienced the highest high and lowest low I remember. One noontime in Paris, the entire world was completely perfect and luminous. As we sat in a cafe, the oranges stacked in a pyramid across the street seemed to shine intensely from within, and wherever I looked, I saw only perfection and fluid light. A few nights later in Brussels, I was reduced to a million keening shards below the stars, broken and crippled by the overwhelming force of my depression. My friend told me, “I don’t know if I can take you like this,” which neatly complemented my feelings of utter loneliness and wretchedness— indeed, I didn’t know if I could take myself like this, either. After I returned to the States, I found I had overspent my budget, and decided to move back in with my parents. (In fact, I really needed their help, and money trouble was a cover story for the humbling reality that I couldn’t make it on my own anymore.)

Unable to Read or Write – A Mental Disability

After I moved back home, I enrolled at the local college to finish my degree. When classes began, I found I couldn’t write an essay anymore— I had the ideas in mind, but I couldn’t connect them coherently. When I read my textbooks, five minutes later, I found I had forgotten the whole chapter. At my therapist’s suggestion, I made an appointment with a neuropsychologist, who administered some tests and wrote me a letter for a disability waiver from the university. For most of my youth, I played the role of prideful intellectual; I felt humiliated by this “mental disability,” and my self-concept took a real blow. However, I got extra time to finish assignments, and with this help, managed to finish my degree.

Psychiatry, Difficult Feelings, and Equilibrium

I started seeing a psychiatrist, who prescribed me pills using what he called “monotherapy” – using just one medicine at a time to achieve the desired result. I took a series of seven different medications, mostly atypical antipsychotics and anticonvulsants. With each new drug came a new host of side effects, and at times it seemed that the meds were making things much worse. This was my most suicidal period, and I contemplated throwing myself from the tall staircase in the school library, or veering into oncoming traffic. There was also a period on a particular medication where I had excruciating and frightening experiences— for example, sensations of my brain being torn apart, stabbed, or sawed in half. Sometimes, all I could do to manage the pain was pass out. Another medication made me lethargic and dull, and an expensive stimulant was prescribed to counter this effect, but life still seemed lackluster and tedious. Eventually, however, my psychiatrist prescribed me a medication that stabilized my moods without major unpleasant side effects, and suddenly everything changed— now, instead of being immersed in a raging sea of emotion, I was seated on a rock in the middle of the ocean, safe from the ravages of the waves.

Seeking Healing Alternatives

During this time, I had read everything about bipolar disorder I could get my hands on. What I discovered was that the Western medical establishment was clueless about how to heal it, had no idea what the experience was actually like, and recommended drugs for life and crossed fingers. I refused to accept this conclusion, and I researched the alternatives. For about a year and a half, I studied and practiced a host of different healing methods, and consulted healers of many traditions. In my quest, I made use of Western herbalism, yoga, ayurveda, homeopathy, aikido, shamanic healing, flower essences, art therapy, energy work, journaling, dreamwork, visualization, and meditation. It was this last that become the key to my recovery and subsequent development as a human being.

The Turning Point

After several amazing breakthroughs and eye-opening experiences with complementary healing and spiritual practices, I met with a holistic counselor who had a Ph.D. in neuropsychology and a background in Buddhism and meditation. He showed me brilliant sanity, a level of mind that is completely perfect, inclusive, fresh, and pure. It was this, I recognized, that I had been seeking my whole life, and after a decisive immersion in the experience of mind-beyond-mind one May afternoon, I vowed to attain it completely. I discontinued my psychiatric medication the same day, and haven’t taken any since. That was 2004.

Exploring, Integrating, Learning, Cured!

I have been free of the insanity of bipolar disorder since that healing moment. I kept up my meditation practice, which stabilized my rediscovered brilliant sanity, and continued to help me navigate the path of my experience, including emotions, thoughts, and spiritual understanding. I studied Tibetan Buddhism and other spiritual teachings, and in 2010 began graduate studies in psychotherapy. Worried that perhaps meditation was merely keeping my bipolar disorder at bay, I stopped my daily meditation practice for about four months, and took a job that disrupted my sleep schedule. None of my bipolar symptoms recurred, and in Summer 2011 I reaffirmed that I have healed from bipolar disorder. While I still sometimes have difficult feelings and experiences, I am able to cope with and learn from them, and I continue to lead a happy, creative, and productive life.

Sharing What I Learned

I learned how to heal bipolar disorder the hard way, and the only way— by actually doing it. My deepest wish is to help others heal, so they can give full expression to the brilliant fire within, while leading a happy, healthy, fulfilling life, and contributing to the greater good and healing of themselves, society, and the world as a whole— and beyond.

Encouragement

Posted on by
Reply

I know it’s possible to heal from bipolar disorder, because I’ve done it. I spent three years in an escalating living hell, but through perspicacity, open-mindedness, and help from my friends, I achieved transformation and resolution of the bipolar dynamic.

Medical professionals who I have spoken to are surprised when I tell them I’ve healed. They think that if you have bipolar disorder, you will have to be on medications for the rest of your life. They think the best that’s possible is to manage the symptoms, keep taking meds, and hope for the best.
However, I know that much more is possible— indeed, complete and total healing is within your reach. People who are diagnosed with bipolar disorder are some of the most sensitive, talented, and energetic people around. The exquisite beauty and creative solutions of which they are capable attest to the brilliant intelligence at the heart of the bipolar condition. These very qualities— brilliance, talent, and creativity— are the keys to healing.

In order to heal, I had to completely reexamine and reinvent myself and everything I knew, and strike out on a radically different course in life. At the time, I wasn’t sure I would make it— I was sailing uncharted waters.

Now that I’ve healed, however, I want to help everyone I can to heal from this debilitating disease, and to rebuild their life to suit their deepest inspiration and joy. You could say that I want to share the maps I made of my healing journey, in the hopes it will help you on yours. While I cannot guarantee that what worked for me will work for you, I know that if you want to heal, it is up to you, and I will do everything I can to help.

A Few Thoughts on Medication

Posted on by
Reply

Many Views on Meds

There are a lot of different views about medication. Some oppose it vehemently, some advocate pharmaceuticals for life. In my opinion, you should use meds if you need them to stabilize, and then you should get off of them as soon as it makes sense for you. In all cases, your healing is your joy and your responsibility, and that includes considering how you want to relate to medication.

Objections to Medication

There are lots of reasons to reject medications. It’s not natural, and who knows what those poisons will do to you in the long term? Meds have nasty side effects. Meds are about as effective as placebo. The pharmaceutical industry is just a profiteering game, aimed to make you dependent on pharmaceutical corporations and doctors, and keep feeding the cycle of moneymaking and illness-creation. Meds are just a band-aid, they don’t get at the root of the problem, they allow a sick system to remain sick by covering up symptoms of healthy individual reactions to societal sickness. These are all valid objections, worth taking into account.

In Favor of Medication

Meds can be really helpful for people. They can stabilize moods in a straightforward and simple way. They leverage modern science and technology in order to help people. They are one more tool in the kit for healing. For people who can’t recover in other ways, meds offer hope for leading a relatively normal life. They are a chemical miracle. They saved my life, and offered freedom from an otherwise debilitating and uncontrollable condition.

My View

Personally, I rejected meds for a long time, till I realized I needed help and I was desperate for anything that might work. I was lucky enough to get a psychiatrist who wanted to try one drug at a time, instead of a cocktail. (In his thinking, multiple meds would have just clouded the issue, complicating my neurochemistry, and making mood stabilization more difficult.) While it was tough going through a bunch of different medications, with a host of unpleasant side effects (some of which were worse than bipolar disorder on its own), we eventually found a medication that stabilized my moods and enabled me to do the other work I needed in order to heal.

I don’t think that meds are the best answer, the only answer, or even a good long-term answer. I feel like they were extremely helpful for me personally, and that any healing approach should consider all possibilities with an open mind before ruling anything out.

Your View

You should be the one to evaluate your own healing, and make your own choices about what’s right for you. In order to clarify your own thoughts and feelings about meds, you might consider writing them down– and then, consider writing a new list when you’re in a different frame of mind. All of your feelings and thoughts are useful and helpful in deciding your approach to medication, and gathering all of your opinions and desires on a sheet of paper, and looking them over in different states of mind, can be really helpful in establishing your position in relation to medication.

If You’re Thinking of Stopping Medication

Take your time

It’s important to take time in making decisions, and if you’re feeling great, you might be tempted to just go off your meds. Consider giving things more time in order to see how things pan out– because a lot of people in an upswing go off meds, and then really lose control. It’s tempting to throw off the shackles and throw caution to the wind, but I’ve found that it’s better to be patient, and give things time to run their course and even out. (I speak from experience, I really do.)

Research your options

First, examine your options. There may be other meds that have fewer side effects or are cheaper, or maybe you can reduce your current dosage slowly. Next, do your research. Look at what others have experienced and what they recommend. One possible source of information is the Harm Reduction Guide to Coming Off Psychiatric Drugs. Having as much information as possible will help you make your decision and choose methods appropriate to you. It also might help you convince your support system that stopping meds might be right for you, and that there are tried methods for going about it. It will probably be a lot easier to come off meds, if your support people are aligned with you in that decision.

Your experience is unique

In your research, remember that everyone is an individual having a unique experience. Don’t assume that just because someone has taken a certain medication that you also take, that their experience of that medication will apply to you as well. Everyone has individual reactions to different things– just like different people like different kinds of ice cream. Ditto for coming off meds– some people might do it easily, and others might have serious problems.

Listen to people you trust

Consider what other people have to say, not only in terms of whether or not you agree with it, but with an open mind, to see if it is potentially helpful advice. You’ll have to make your own decisions on what’s right for you, but if everyone in your life whom you trust is telling you not to go off your meds, you should probably pay close attention to what they’re saying, and consider that for today, they might be right.

Consider a gradual approach

If you do decide to stop taking your meds, consider a gradual, tapered approach, in concert with your prescribing professional. That can save you a lot of grief down the road, either from a sudden recurrence of symptoms or a mood episode on one hand, or from side effects due to abrupt withdrawal on the other.

Healthy Eating

Posted on by
Reply

“You are what you eat.” — Folk wisdom

Food as Medicine

One of the easiest ways to influence how we feel is to change what we eat. If you eat a well-rounded, healthy meal, you’re going to feel a lot different than if you eat a handful of candy and wash it down with a caffeinated soft drink. All things being equal, in the first case, you’ll probably feel grounded, relaxed, focused and calm, whereas in the second case, you’ll get a quick high at the beginning where you’ll feel speedy and a little floaty, and then you’ll crash on the empty carbs, and feel mood swings, sluggishness, and disorientation. (I’m basing what I’m saying on my own experience; if you want, you could try it out— take two times when you’re in pretty much the same mood, and then test each case, and track your moods, thoughts, and behaviors for the next six hours. That way, you’ll know how these things affect you.)

Learn What Works For You

Each person has different dietary needs, and these needs vary over time. In my own case, I’ve found that my body works best with fresh vegetables, whole grains, animal proteins in moderation, and lots of water. Here are some general tips on diet that I think will be better for pretty much anybody— although, of course, it’s up to you to investigate what works best for you.

Eat Organic, Whole, Fresh Foods

In this era of factory farming, it is easiest and cheapest to buy processed, prepackaged foods that have plenty of chemical additives mixed in— at least, at the checkstand it seems easiest and cheapest. In reality, the health effects of such a diet is far more costly and painful in the long run. It is a little like eating only candy and soft drinks every day— over time, the effects will add up, and influence your health in a systemic way.
Therefore, the best sorts of foods to eat in recovery are:

  • organic foods, which have minimal or no chemical additives, pesticides, or preservatives
  • whole foods, which are minimally processed and are as close to the natural form as possible (before cooking)
  • fresh foods, which are more nourishing and vital (some may choose to eat macrobiotically) (of course, dried beans and cereals are acceptable— but fresh fruits and vegetables are preferable to those that are canned or jarred. some claim that frozen vegetables are comparatively fresher than those that ship to market— it’s up to you to decide.)

I’ve been eating mostly organic foods for about ten years. My health has benefited enormously. While it’s true that I pay more in time (cooking from scratch) and money (at the market), I pay far less in medical bills than I probably would if I ate adulterated, processed, and nutritionally empty foods.

Eliminate Allergens and Irritants

It’s possible that a lot of our chronic health problems stem from unrecognized food allergens and irritants. In my own case, I am sensitive to wheat, soy, and excess dairy. After I eliminated these from my diet, I found I recovered health, energy, and vitality I didn’t know I had lost. Every now and again, I accidentally ingest one of these foodstuffs, and I can tell right away, because my body is so sensitive to it— with wheat I become sluggish and my digestion slows, whereas with soy I become gassy and irritable, and too much dairy makes me congested and lethargic. Wheat and soy were so prevalent in my diet before, that I can hardly fathom the long-term effects I experienced due to eating these irritants for years. While it’s true that I have to take extra precautions to avoid these common foods, I feel so much better than before, that it is well worth it.

Again, different people have different dietary needs. If you suspect you have a food allergy or sensitivity, you could see a specialist about it (who may or may not be helpful to you, depending), or you could simply try eliminating that foodstuff for a few weeks and see if things improve. You could even try an “elimination diet,” although you should take all necessary health precautions and so on. In sum, you’re the expert on what’s healthy for you, and it’s up to you to discover your optimal healthy diet— and make adjustments as necessary.

Eat for Long-Term Health, not Short-Term Comfort

A lot of us have made a habit of eating for emotional comfort— I certainly have. And while I still sometimes reach for something that isn’t the healthiest, I generally gravitate towards the healthier choices. This is a balance that works for me, and I encourage you to find the balance that works for you— allowing yourself a little comfort through food now and then, but favoring the pleasure and vitality of a well-balanced diet that supports your overall healing goals.

Cycles

Posted on by
Reply


Cycles are a Natural Feature of the Universe.

Tides rise and fall, the moon waxes and wanes, the day leads to night gives birth to day, the four seasons and everything else exist in cycles. Humans and animals, too, have physiological cycles that take place over a lifetime, as well as over a span of years, months, days, hours, and seconds. Your heartbeat is a natural cycle, as is your breathing. All these things are cyclical in nature. Humans and other plant and animal life on this planet have grown to be naturally related to these larger cycles— seasons, day and night, the phases of the moon. Accepting our place as part of the natural system allows us to find harmony with nature and the way things work.

Mood Cycles are Natural

Your mood cycles, too, are part of the natural order of things. Probably, however, they are out of sync with the other cycles in your life. For example, if part of your experience is trouble getting to sleep or waking up within a 24-hour period, your sleep cycle is out of sync with the natural cycle of the sun. If you notice that your emotional cycles are out of sync with the activities of your life, your emotional rhythm is out of sync with the cycles of your behavioral. If you notice that some cycles in your life are out of sync with other natural cycles, you may wish to shift them in order to be more in touch with these natural rhythms.

Ups and Downs are Part of All Cycles

It’s important to note, however, that good moods and bad moods, happiness and sadness, elation and depression, ambition and withdrawal, are all natural parts of our experience as human beings. Furthermore, they are echoed in our larger environment, from a drop of water to the vastness of outer space. Expansion and contraction, rising and falling, speeding up and slowing down, are the natural rhythms of the universe. In the case of someone suffering from bipolar disorder, however, these rhythms are more pronounced— the highs and lows are much more intense than most people experience, and the cycles may be slower or faster.

Balancing Your Cycles

If your cycles are out of balance, you can try some creative ways to find balance again. One good way is to establish a regular sleep schedule based on the rhythm of the sun. Some people like to rise at dawn, whereas others prefer late morning. Generally, however, it will be helpful to wake up in the morning, and go to sleep sometime at night. Try to plan your days so that you can adhere to this schedule, and be gentle— it might be tough at first, but if you can’t sleep or wake up, just stick with it and slowly work to realign your sleep cycles with what feels healthy to you.

Getting In Touch with the Lunar Cycle

Another important cycle is the lunar cycle. The moon is the basis for the month, and much of the world uses a lunar calendar. The human cycle of fertility is tied to the moon’s cycles, and the tides follow the moon’s gravitational tug as it moves around the Earth and as the Earth spins on its own axis. By getting in touch with the lunar cycle, you can realign with another natural cycle. The new moon relates to new beginnings and potentials, whereas the full moon has to do with plenitude and brining things to bear fruit. As the moon waxes and wanes, you may find that different qualities of your experience rise or ebb, and setting your intention at specific points in the moon’s cycle can be a powerful way to connect with the lunar cycle. Even just being aware of the moon’s phase, and taking a few nighttime walks a month, can put you into contact with the lunar rhythm in a healing way.

The Rhythms of the Seasons

The annual cycle of the Earth’s rotation around the sun has to do with the four seasons (in temperate regions), and the agricultural cycle of planting, growing, harvest, and hibernation. These same cycles are part of our inner experience, and any project or organization we get involved with will experience these cycles, although perhaps in a different timeframe than a solar year. Still, it is true that in the summertime, we tend to go out more and exert ourselves, whereas in the winter, we often feel like going inwards and conserving energy. By getting in touch with the rhythms of the seasons, you can realign with the proper timing and amplitude of these same rhythms within yourself.

Other Human Cycles

There are also many cycles in our lives that do not coincide with the natural rhythms of the world. Society has its rhythms, as do families, workplaces, neighborhoods, and civilizations. Sometimes these man-made rhythms pull us off course of our healthy rhythms, and sometimes it’s healing to synchronize with these other rhythms. It’s up to you to investigate what feels healthy to you, and choose to participate more or less in these other cycles. You can also create your own cycles, in order to stay on track in your healing, or to nudge yourself towards your healthiest rhythms.

Cycles Within Cycles

Finally, all these cycles exist in relation to other cycles, which leads to remarkable complexity and creative potential. Consider the cyclical patterns in your life, identify the patterns that seem to lead to wholeness and healing, clarify your relationship to them, and find ways to align with the cycles that heal and make whole.

(These last 4 images show the daily rise and fall of the tide with the rotation of the earth, and as the scale increases and more time is shown on each graph, the cycle of the tides, dependent on the alignment of the Earth, Moon, and Sun, can be seen. This is a simple illustration of two cycles interacting– there are so many more to discover at play in your own life.)

Mood Tracker

Posted on by
Reply

Keeping track of your moods is a great way to understand the patterns and cycles in your experience. This kind of self-understanding will help you choose how to move forward, and will reveal what works and what doesn’t work for you, in terms of moving towards healing and wholeness, and finding balance.

Moods Over Time

You can examine how your moods shift over days, weeks, and months— or over hours, minutes, seconds. No matter the timeframe, you’ll probably notice patterns. Just bringing awareness to these patterns can be healing. You needn’t break the patterns, necessarily— at first, just examine them, see how they play out. You may judge them as good or bad, which is also a part of the pattern.

Moods, Thoughts, Events

You can also take a look at what sort of thoughts you have in different moods, and what sorts of behaviors you engage in. Of course, the relationships between moods, thoughts, and events is interdependent— you can’t exactly say that one caused the other, but there is some kind of interconnection, a play back and forth, a relationship, a pattern. You could track how your moods shift over time, as well as the sorts of behaviors you engaged in, the events of your life, and what’s been on your mind. And you can use whatever method you want, whatever works for you, to get whatever kind of meaning that helps you.

Mood Cycles, and Smaller and Larger Cycles

Something else to consider is that any given cycle is made up of smaller cycles, and any cycle contributes to larger cycles. For example, a summer rainstorm is made up of many cycles of water evaporating into clouds and condensing into water droplets, and a summer rainstorm contributes to seasonal patterns of rainfall and climate. (And of course, all of these cycles contribute to yet other cycles in turn.) By examining how your moods are made up of smaller and larger cycles, you can begin to understand what your moods are connected to.

Moods and Natural Cycles

Finally, take a look at how your moods fit in with larger natural cycles— day and night, the phases of the moon, the four seasons, and so on. By seeing how your mood cycles play out over time, you’ll be able to work with them more creatively, and understand how your rhythms can be gently brought into balance.

Create Your Own Mood Tracker

It is helpful to create a way of charting moods, events, thoughts, and cycles. By examining the concrete external events, internal thoughts and emotions, and the subtle connections between and among them, you can clarify and study the patterns that exist in various levels of experience.
You may want to use colors, words, lines, notes, or maps— anything tha helps you in the process of understanding how and why your moods fluctuate.
You may mind that the process of tracking your moods itself has an impact on your moods. This is a natural and desirable outcome: the extra information about the patterns can have an actual effect upon them. I encourage you in the discipline, curiosity, and delight of mood tracking.

Online Mood Tracker

There’s a powerful online mood tracker available for free at HealthyPlace. (You’ll need to create an account.)

If You Prefer Paper

Feel free to use this Mood Tracker template. You can print it out as is (use the PDF) and write any changes in, or you can download the OpenOffice file and make changes as you see fit.

Download:

 mood_tracker03.pdf

 mood_tracker03.odg

(Note: OpenOffice is a free office suite, available for all major operating systems. If you choose to download and modify the template on your computer, you should also download the Blue Highway font pack, available for free here. Thanks to the DIY Planner folks for creating the widget pack I used to create these templates! This template is being released using a Creative Commons Attribution- NonCommercial- ShareAlike License.)

 

Things Are Not So Black And White

Posted on by
Reply

Something I ran into in my healing process was my black and white thinking— that things were one way or the other, and nothing in between. Learning about the gray, the nuances, the shading, was important for me in healing, both for understanding my own experience, and for relating to others.

My different judgements about the world stacked up, with all the good things on one side and all the bad things on the other, and I thought I was secure in knowing what was right. However, this was incredibly painful, because there was a lot of things in myself and in the world that I judged as bad and wrong, and as a result I couldn’t accept myself or the world as they are.

It’s a funny paradox, but the first step in changing is accepting things as they are. This isn’t the same as giving up or selling out or becoming complacent; rather, it’s just acknowledging what is, and giving up on the struggle. We need to work to improve ourselves and the world, we need to work to make things better, but we can’t do it by fighting against what is. Rather, we need to acknowledge and befriend what is, and than work with what is, in order to give birth to something better.

Our black-and-white judgements about the world and ourselves are one of the biggest obstacles to befriending the world and ourselves. And we could let our judgements change, not because we ‘should’ stop judging because it is ‘bad,’ but we could just take a gentler approach altogether, and look into things as they are, instead of jumping to how we think they should be. Then some kind of appreciation could occur, and we might see that things have their own logic and grace and power. Then, by moving along with that graceful power, we can bring things to their full dignity, their full strength, their full brilliance.

Resource List

Posted on by
Reply

Make a resource list of the things that help you. Put it somewhere where you’ll remember where to find it, no matter your state of mind, and where you’ll see it several times a day. (For example, your refrigerator, bulletin board, mobile phone, personal organizer, or computer desktop.) That way, no matter your state of mind, you’ll be able to refer to your list, to remember what helps you to center, ground, relax, and find balance.

Things to consider for your list(s):

  • An emergency plan (for example, if you sometimes have suicidal feelings, you could call that part of your list “What to do when I’m feeling suicidal”)
  • Trusted friends you can call in a psychological emergency (consider checking with your friends first, to make sure they’re willing to help you when you’re in crisis)
  • Your therapist’s number (if you have a therapist)— same for your doctor, psychiatrist, clergy, etc.
  • A crisis hotline number
  • Books, music, and videos that help you self-soothe
  • Healthy activities that calm and center you (for example, swimming, going for a walk, talking to a friend, yoga, or meditating)
  • A prayer, slogan, or song that inspires and calms you
  • A list of things that are good about you
  • Reminders of other struggles you’ve overcome
  • Messages to yourself, things that support you when you’re having a tough time (such as, “I love you” or “you’re going to get through this”— whatever the perfect advice is that you need when things are rough)
  • Foods that are calming, clarifying, and balancing for you
  • Things to avoid (for example, if alcohol or caffeine make things worse for you, “Alcohol is bad for my moods” or “Coffee makes things worse!” might be helpful reminders to yourself)
  • Reminders to yourself about what to do when you can’t think straight, or when you feel overwhelmed (for example, “reach out to someone I trust” or “make art” — whatever helps you find balance and healing.)

By putting together a list of resources that you can rely on when you’re in a rough patch, you can help yourself remember the things that support you, and work towards self-sufficiency and playing a more active role in your bipolar healing process.